Sunday, January 24, 2010

to give up or not to give up

Should this part be played crescendo or diminuendo?
Is this part still belong to the phrase or it's the echo?
Should it be louder or softer than the previous one?
How loud is forte, and how loud is mf?
wrong fingering, think how should it be..
it's not forte, you were BANGing it!
play softer, with more flat fingers..
the running notes are not even..
left and right must be together!

desperate :(
my techniques and my knowledge are not there yet.
i'm not qualified for this exam.
i'm not even qualified to play this instrument.
i'm only a piano-minor.

"What are you doing, Eirene?"
--I'm giving up.


Look up!
then look around..
exam is not about getting distinctions..
many people had merits or even simply passed, but they passed.
it's the process.
how the endurance is being built,
humility to be molded,
patience to persevere,
and to experience God's grace and strength instead of my own.


"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world—not even our troubles."

Charlie Chaplin