Tuesday, February 15, 2011

grow old vs grow up

Usually the "most sensitive" day of the year would be my birthday, but this year...
preparing for the junior recital has been making me much more sensitive than ever!

Usually the "most sensitive" day is literally a one day thing...
but this "sensitive" mood has been going for dayzzzzz...
(even worst than having period!)

i've been daydreaming on a lot of bad things..
imagining a lot of "what if"s..
crying silently during meditation, in the class, and before sleep..
easily discouraged by others' comments..
having detailed planning of how to take revenge of it..
or simply imagining of shouting back to them..
complaining to God about them..
complaining to God for having this emotion inside of me..
thinking of hiding in the corner under my table with my bolster and blanket for the whole day..


aarghh.. >.<
still wondering until now..
when will i become an emotionally matured person?
when will i have a "weather-proofed" heart?

a new decade of my life is about to come..
yet here i am..still with a childish thought and emotion..


grow up, will you..?!!

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